Please note this blog is being drafted under the assumption a person has been served divorce papers and mediation is not looking like a path that would work for them.

So with that said there is general blueprint to the divorce process in California but because every couple will have unique needs, the path from start to finish will also be unique. And right now that unique life you've been building is changing and you're probably overwhelmed. Assembling your team is a good first step. 

A divorce team could simply be you and your attorney. Maybe you add a CDFA like me to help with financial questions or you add a therapist/counselor to help with the stress that is common in the divorce process. I'll try to breakdown some things that I think people forget to consider.

ATTORNEY SELECTION

My Bias: I specifically choose to work with people who have an attorney (representing or consulting) because I feel the knowledge a family law attorney has is invaluable to the process.

• Pick an attorney who specializes in family law. Seems obvious but I’ve seen people choose a friend who yes, has practiced law for 15 years, but it was in some other law field like probate. Their attorney friend never stood before the local family law Judge or had to follow family law local rules (having the experience to know what can piss off your Judge can be a game changer).

• Most attorneys these days charge for a consultation, which can add up quickly. So try to narrow down your selection first with what you think will be the hardest topic for you and your spouse to agree on (kids, the house, support, moving away). Then check out the attorney's website to see what they have to say about their specialties. 

• There are nine counties in the Bay Area. Are the attorneys you are considering practice in the county where your case is in? Just because an attorney is in San Francisco doesn’t mean they take cases in Contra Costa (same idea if you’re in the LA area). I also like to mention proximity. Yes, having your attorney close to you is convenient but how close is your attorney to the courthouse? Travel time is a cost. Nowadays a lot of Courts offer virtual hearings since Covid but sometimes in person is required for one reason or another. 

to be continued...

CDFA SELECTION

Once I made the decision to become a CDFA I started reading... a lot. One book that has a pretty clever title and I wish I had come up with is Marriage is About Love Divorce is About Money by Gabrielle Clemens. Money is definitely a big part of divorce and if you have always relied on the other person to take care of the finances, you could feel very overwhelmed. 

You also don’t have to be a millionaire (or be married to one) to need a CDFA. Maybe you just need some ideas for all the joint debt accumulated during marriage. Maybe your home is underwater and you feel like you have no options. 

• A lot of CDFA’s come from a financial background. They might work for a financial advisory firm that you can then move over your accounts to after the divorce process and have a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) help you post-divorce.

• Some CDFA’s like me, come from a family law background. We are very familiar with the process and timing of each step. We are used to the attorney jargon and acronyms that constantly get tossed around. We can also give you referrals to CFP’s that we think would be a good fit for you should that be something you want.

• In my opinion a good CDFA will give you a sense of relief because they are going to take some of that weight and that stress that you are feeling and turn it into knowledge. I can almost feel you rolling your eyes at that sentence, but it’s true. The weight and stress comes from not knowing what to do or what something means and a CDFA is there to help you learn and understand your options.

Tip: Every Bay Area Courthouse has a website with tons of free information. (I have some of them listed on the main page of my website). Now fair warning some of the websites could use some work on their user friendliness… but don’t give up. San Francisco and Marin just did some updates and their websites are already looking a lot better. 

So you’ve started the divorce process and found an attorney in California…. Now you’re sitting there trying to understand what the heck they are saying. Here are some key acronyms/abbreviations I've seen used during the financial portion of the divorce process. *Please remember that I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice 

JC Forms or Judicial Council Forms

The Judicial Branch of California has created forms for many types of law and family law is one of them. Some of the forms are required and some are not. Some are even just there to provide information while others are there for you to use as a tool and not file with the Court. This is free information available to the public so check it out! https://www.courts.ca.gov/home.htm

PDD or PDOD 

Is the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure packet which comprises multiple Judicial Council Forms. This is a big part of the financial building blocks of the divorce process and usually happens early on. 

I&E

Is one of the Judicial Council Forms that can be found in the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure packet. It’s short for Income & Expense Declaration.

SAD or S&AD

Is another one of the Judicial Council Forms that can be found in the Preliminary Declaration of Disclosure packet. It’s short for Schedule of Assets & Debts.

SS and CS

Pretty straightforward abbreviations that are short for Spousal Support and Child Support. 

1.       Are you guessing?

Some may say that your Preliminary Declaration of Disclosures are just that, Preliminary and that you can update and change them later. Technically this is true but why set yourself up for more work later when you can produce something solid now and feel good about it? Think about it this way, you’re looking at these forms and feeling overwhelmed and scared because some of the information it’s asking you for, you honestly don’t know…. Well let’s try and find out now. You being able to produce complete and accurate PDD’s can only strengthen your case and your confidence going forward.

2.       Are you willing to swear on it?

Throughout the divorce process you will come across “ I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of…” or something similar to that. Of course people make mistakes and there are ways to handle that but the goal is to get it right and get it right the first time. One of the many reasons to have a divorce team. And remember getting it done right the first time can save you time, money, and stress.

3.       Are you stressing out? 

Stress…ugh. Luckily in today’s world we have realized our mental health matters. We talk about it more, we acknowledge it more, and we have more tools to address it. Divorce can be stressful and as I have said before, I believe it comes from feeling overwhelmed, out of your element, or just feeling stupid. You may have been in the dark around the family finances during marriage but now is the time to learn and prove to yourself that you can handle it.